Hello Darkness My Old Friend

My left hip feels like I fell on it yesterday not twenty months ago.  I dared to sit on three  cushions  on a yoga studio matted floor for one hour.  I shifted a lot.  The pain hit within three mins of sitting.  I choose “fuck it I want to sit in this mediation class. I’m choosing clarity right now.”  This morning I am being punished by my hip and back for my choice.

I still don’t want the Vicodin back. I’m choosing clarity. It equals pain that I have to manage. And admittedly higher pain then I anticipated. But it’s winter and blah blah blah I am happier in clarity then I am blocking the pain and not functioning but surviving the high. 

Yoga helps a lot more then I expected.  Hot yoga is next.  Last night was the first time I went with B to her studio.  Not for yoga but for meditation class.  I forced myself to go and not have an attitude.  I pushed past the fear.  It hurt like hell.  Emotionally and physically.  And I’m really really proud of me.

These are my leggings and winter sox.  I love leggings.  And I don’t care about my big ass either!